So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I looked at my own cervix.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
