she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
