I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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