First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
