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Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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