Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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