its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize