I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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