yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
