OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
