I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
