My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
