He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
