Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
