I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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