oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
