it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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