it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize