i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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