Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
