i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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