i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Reggie can tackle my bush.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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