I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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