I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i came on her dog
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
