He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
