she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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