I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
