I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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