So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
