After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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