i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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