Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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