i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
