About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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