i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Holy shit dude........stairs
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
