Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I want to be your penis for a week.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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