i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
