Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
