About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
