That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
