It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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