people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
did i just pee glitter
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
