What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
