I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
