I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
