an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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