Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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