All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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