So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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