So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
