then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
