and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
