There was a lot of him and a little penis
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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