I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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