Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
