i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
