rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
