I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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