You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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