I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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