So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
